11:13 p.m. | 2016-04-14
fucking phones

things i've learned since graduating and entering the workforce: it sucks. the grass is always greener and blah blah blah, but i miss school. i hate this job, i hate management and feeling patronized every day, i hate having a functional brain and a college degree but answering phone calls for a living, i hate making 10.69 an hour, i hate getting almost a month of PTO and yet never feeling like i can take a damn day off, i hate that i hear ringing in my sleep, i hate that my please-god-literally-any-other job search is going terrible, and the thing i hate most is that i have no idea what i'd rather be doing. i need a different degree, i need a plan, but i can't make one because never in my life have i felt passionate or excited about anything. not once.

i cannot fathom how we stand this. us passionless folks, living for our weekends, for fifty years. i've stubbornly clung to life during periods of depression so great i could only shake through it, and i guess incessant boredom shouldn't even rate. but that grass, it's always greener.