11:28 p.m. | 2012-04-21
the middle east - blood

seven billion fucking people on the planet and i can't seem to connect with a single one. can't love a single person i'm not genetically predisposed to love.

four months until i move to a new town where i'll be slightly more alone and just as anxious. this feels like one of those life-determining big steps where if i don't succeed on a massive scale i'm fucked for life. doesn't it feel like the past decade has been a series of these things? twenty-one and i'm already a jaded piece of shit, waiting for that final push that means i've given up permanently. i guess i'm not as jaded as i'd like to think. be honest, self: things would be a lot easier if i was.