12:58 a.m. | 2017-02-20
so ridiculously incredibly happy

he told me he loves me tonight.

life is so ridiculous. i can hardly believe the place i'm at right now. it's so ridiculous that you can spend a decade in such a dark place and turn it all around in a fraction of that time. it's so scary to think of all the times i wanted life to be over, because if i'd actually gone through with those dark thoughts i would have never experienced this.

this: a man telling me he loves me, and telling me he'd been wanting to say it all week, and that he'd spent the past two hours wondering when to just say it, and that he knew it was going to happen on date three.

i'm in love. and i'm doing things i love, and surrounded by family i love. my life, falling together after years and years of disarray. and yes, it's more than a little terrifying. but fuck it, i have a good feeling about this.

ME. feeling happy and excited and loved. there's not a moment i'm not appreciating this with every fiber of my being.