2:49 p.m. | 2016-10-30
camp

got paid to volunteer at my workplace (a camp) this weekend and it was such a crazy fun experience. it basically involves being paired with a family and hanging with them all weekend, and that entailed tons of activities, singing, dancing, a campfire, a lot of food, and laughing with the most hilarious family ever... it was an experience. and an awesome one.

i'll never be the kind of person that's comfortable in front of a crowd, on a stage, being a leader, whatever... but this weekend i was IN a crowd of people, singing and dancing and laughing. that's truly such a change for me. i feel really blessed to have landed this job, because it's already helped me grow in a lot of ways and it's only been a month. most of me is hoping that a year from now i'll barely recognize myself when compared to the me of now. it's loud enough to silence the part of me that just wants to slip back into the shadows.

given the choice of doing nothing, or forcing yourself to do things but feeling anxious all of the time, i am finding that the latter will win out every time. it's a shame it took me over a decade to figure that out. but i'm trying now.